My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
