did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
