you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
