Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
