omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
