He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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