She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
