i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
