you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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