ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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