If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
