I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
