Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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