put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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