Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
