you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
