Are we in a gay sports bar?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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