Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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