Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
