is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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