u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
