have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
