Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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