Do vagina's smell?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
