i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
