Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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