There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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