Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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