I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
