U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
