Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
