One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
