on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You smell like stripper and shame
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
