ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
