my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
