Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
