i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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