I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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