I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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