Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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