We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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