I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
