There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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