let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
