Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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