Having a random hookup so left but love u
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We need to rekindle our bromance
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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