is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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