big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
