fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
