i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cockslap morals
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
