he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
