just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
