I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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