how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
