yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
